Tuesday, June 28, 2005
party
When we moved in last year, we had no idea that the city sets off fireworks, literally, in front of our house. We began to get a clue when cars started lining up along the street and people with lawn chairs began filling the parking lot of the high school.
This year, we will celebrate our view with a party. Homemade ice cream at seven, fireworks around 9-9:30. Feel free to drop by if you are in Atlanta. Email me for directions.
This year, we will celebrate our view with a party. Homemade ice cream at seven, fireworks around 9-9:30. Feel free to drop by if you are in Atlanta. Email me for directions.
Labels: save as draft
Friday, June 24, 2005
for the kids
Disney is beta testing an online game called Virtual Magic Kingdom. It seems to be a sort of a hybrid between Animal Crossing and The Sims, with the attention to detail that Disney does best.
My kids absolutely love it. They even have virtual pin trading, and an opportunity to control the VMK fireworks display.
My kids absolutely love it. They even have virtual pin trading, and an opportunity to control the VMK fireworks display.
Labels: save as draft
Thursday, June 23, 2005
getting off my soapbox
Thank you for reading the posts from the last few days. They were written, not in response to the choices that an individual family might make, but in response to talk among the leadership of several large denominations about passing resolutions calling for the members of those denominations to leave public education. I hope that Christians and churches will take a look at the public schools in their communities, especially the ones that are "failing" the No Child Left Behind standards due to a large population of children that are living in poverty. I'd like to see Christians, whether they have school age children or not, and whether they choose to send their school age children to public school or not, to begin a conversation about ways in which the church can reach out and offer advocacy, support, and presence to the children in at-risk schools. The federal government is not going to care about these kids, the secular middle and upper-class are not going to worry about it. No Child Left Behind only serves to further disenfranchise the most needy, most impoverished schools. The only hope I can see will have to come from the Christian community.
At-risk schools are desperate for any type of community support. Some readers have left the websites of grassroots organizations and Christian schools that work to make a difference among kids that are most at need. I encourage you to check their websites out, and to add any that you feel could be helpful.
A few posts ago, I listed some quick ideas for ways people could get involved. I agree with the person who commented that home schooling families have unique flexibility and opportunities for community involvement. I think that a home schooled family reaching out to a local school could be a win-win situation.
Other things that I have seen that schools need:
1. The Atlanta Community food bank has a school-supply "store" that teachers in title one schools may access. This is a wonderful, wonderful program. School supplies are collected each fall in school-supply "drives" at local stores and are donated by businesses. If your community has a program like this, it is worth supporting. If your community does not, it would be a great program to start.
2. Dictionaries. The kids in at-risk schools often come from homes where there are multiple generations that have lacked education. These schools often have a high population of non-native English speakers. In both situations, vocabulary acquisition is a huge problem, but I know that my students really use dictionaries. I had many requests during the year from kids who wanted to check out my class dictionaries. It would be great if a local church or business "adopted" a school or a transitional grade within a school (like fifth or ninth) and donated dictionaries to the kids. (I am, of course, biased here - math teachers would probably make a similar request for calculators.)
3. Mentors. Schools always need mentors. If you can, try to communicate directly with a teacher - they will have a better idea of which kids will be the most receptive and most need a mentor than administration will.
4. Tutors. Always, but especially effective in early elementary school, when kids need support to learn basic skills.
5. Everything else. Schools with large populations of at-risk kids usually have a social-worker in the school. (My school has two full-time social workers). The social workers or counselors can let you know what specific needs kids have. High schools can usually use donations of maternity clothes and baby items to support teen mothers. In the winter, there are often kids that need jackets. I'd bet that just about anything that you wanted to donate could be used somewhere or somehow.
Finally, I encourage you to oppose any legislation that would provide school choice without providing transportation.
Thanks again for reading. I promise not to get out the soapbox again for a good, long time.
amy
At-risk schools are desperate for any type of community support. Some readers have left the websites of grassroots organizations and Christian schools that work to make a difference among kids that are most at need. I encourage you to check their websites out, and to add any that you feel could be helpful.
A few posts ago, I listed some quick ideas for ways people could get involved. I agree with the person who commented that home schooling families have unique flexibility and opportunities for community involvement. I think that a home schooled family reaching out to a local school could be a win-win situation.
Other things that I have seen that schools need:
1. The Atlanta Community food bank has a school-supply "store" that teachers in title one schools may access. This is a wonderful, wonderful program. School supplies are collected each fall in school-supply "drives" at local stores and are donated by businesses. If your community has a program like this, it is worth supporting. If your community does not, it would be a great program to start.
2. Dictionaries. The kids in at-risk schools often come from homes where there are multiple generations that have lacked education. These schools often have a high population of non-native English speakers. In both situations, vocabulary acquisition is a huge problem, but I know that my students really use dictionaries. I had many requests during the year from kids who wanted to check out my class dictionaries. It would be great if a local church or business "adopted" a school or a transitional grade within a school (like fifth or ninth) and donated dictionaries to the kids. (I am, of course, biased here - math teachers would probably make a similar request for calculators.)
3. Mentors. Schools always need mentors. If you can, try to communicate directly with a teacher - they will have a better idea of which kids will be the most receptive and most need a mentor than administration will.
4. Tutors. Always, but especially effective in early elementary school, when kids need support to learn basic skills.
5. Everything else. Schools with large populations of at-risk kids usually have a social-worker in the school. (My school has two full-time social workers). The social workers or counselors can let you know what specific needs kids have. High schools can usually use donations of maternity clothes and baby items to support teen mothers. In the winter, there are often kids that need jackets. I'd bet that just about anything that you wanted to donate could be used somewhere or somehow.
Finally, I encourage you to oppose any legislation that would provide school choice without providing transportation.
Thanks again for reading. I promise not to get out the soapbox again for a good, long time.
amy
Labels: save as draft
poverty
I've been teaching in an inner-city school for two years (one as an intern and one as paid faculty). Now, when I hear a story on the news that "three young males were arrested" for a burglary, or car-jacking, or a drug bust, I turn around and check the mug shots and last names to see if I know any of them. I know that, statistically speaking, a percentage of my students larger than I like to admit will end up in jail. I had a handful of kids get locked up this year. The really sad thing is, they were not bad kids. In fact, I can not think of a single student that I would classify as inherently "bad" or irredeemably lost. I truly believe that, even in high school, these kids are salvageable. Still, statistically speaking, over half of the kids that start my school will not graduate. That translates to a couple hundred kids out on the streets every single year, just from one school. It does not take long for them to become lost and bad, to get killed or locked up.
When I was in school, we had forced integration. Schools were supposed to have a mix of income levels and racial groups, and kids were bused across town in order to provide adequate diversity. In my lifetime, I've seen a shift in the way schools are segregated. In Georgia, there is no more forced desegregation. Schools simply segregate themselves. There are "good" schools and there are "bad" schools. You can look up the school profiles online. "Bad" schools have low graduation rates, low test scores, and a high percentage of kids on reduced or free lunch. They tend to have a large, if not exclusive, minority population.
I live in a transitional area in the city of Atlanta, and I teach at the high school right across the street from my house. Because of its proximity to downtown Atlanta, and its small, historic, neighborhoods full of desirable bungalows, the area is filling up with middle and upper-middle class couples and families. The neighborhood surrounding my school is full of professional couples. Nobody sends their middle class children to the local schools. It is simply not done. That would be insane. Most people explain that the "quality of their children's education would suffer". Their kids go to private school, or they apply to the board and get permission to send their kids to a school in a Northern suburb. Although the neighborhoods are becoming more diverse, the schools in those neighborhoods are becoming less diverse. This creates a downward spiral. As middle class children leave schools, test scores plummet. This causes parents who are concerned about education to feel like they need to take their kids elsewhere. Those of us that have the resources to do better by our own children consider the "bad" schools to be someone else's responsibility. Students in failing schools lose support and resources, and they fall father and farther behind.
A school with over eighty percent of the students on free or reduced lunch is a school in trouble. Poverty makes education difficult. Parents that are part of the working poor do not have the time or the energy to be involved in their kid's daily education. Most of them are working two or three low-paying jobs and taking care of multiple children. The last time I checked, the median household income for my students was around 30,000 dollars a year (and this is for a family living in a large city, where the cost of living is very high), and the median family size was five (which typically means one parent and four dependents). Kids that grow up in poverty are stressed out. They worry about their mothers. They want to start working as early as possible to help make money. They go home and have to watch their younger siblings and cousins and nieces. They lack medical care. When a family is working 60+ hours a week in order to pay the rent and buy groceries, things like glasses for a kid that can't see the chalkboard are an unattainable luxury.
One of the reasons so many low-income students fail to complete high school is a lack of hope. They get trapped. They see their family members drop out, get locked up, get pregnant. They live in a neighborhood full of crime and they join a gang or carry a weapon out of fear. They see door after door slammed in the faces of the people around them. It looks to them like everyone struggles just to survive, and they don't really have hope that there can be other options. Children who are living in poverty have tunnel vision. They dream small dreams.
I was talking with a friend of mine about one of her neighbors who feels a real calling to reach out to the low-income kids in her community. She was frustrated by the fact they they had so many needs, and it seemed impossible to even begin to meet them. I told her that you should never underestimate how much power simply being present and making the kids feel seen and cared about can make. A little bit of hope can go a long way.
My church is located in my neighborhood. It serves a solidly middle-class population. Recently, one of the elders of the church told me that he would like to see me come to a board meeting to talk to the staff about what I think we, as a church, can do to more effectively serve and reach out. When I mentioned this to my mom, she commented that sadly, if an outreach was actually effective and a large number of low-income, minority families began to attend church activities, many middle-class families would be uncomfortable and would begin to leave the church. As much as it angers me, I know that there is truth to her statement.
We are afraid of poor people. Poverty is like a visible symptom of what is often considered a lack of morality. It's okay to build a house for Habitat on the weekend, or volunteer at a soup kitchen, but when it comes to actually living among them, we get nervous. Without a doubt, don't want our children exposed. I realize that those are strong statements, but I confess that I have been guilty of these exact thoughts and worries. I've thought things and made assumptions about people who struggle in poverty that I am ashamed to even put into words.
The one thing I have learned in the past two years is that the basic moral fiber of people does not differ whether you are in the projects or in the suburbs. People are people. People in poverty simply lack the external accessories that signal "goodness" or "safety" to us. Children in a "bad" school are not worse than children anywhere else. They simply have more unmet needs.
The middle-class, worldly response to the problems in education is to demand school choice and do everything possible to make sure that every dollar of their tax money goes directly to the clean, well-equipped schools that their children will attend. If a family can afford it, they seek a prestigious, secular, private education for their children. Sadly, the Christian response to the problems in education is not markedly different. Instead of reaching out, the church talks more and more about closing in when it comes to a response to education. This may help our biological children, and the children of our fellow church-attending parents, but where does it leave all the kids in our communities that spend 8+ hours a day in schools we have abandoned to what we believe is depravity and ineffectiveness? What is our responsibility to those children?
I have no illusions that there is a simple solution to this problem, but I do believe that awareness is a good place to begin a conversation. For better or for worse, public education is one place where we have an opportunity to make a positive impact on the children that are needy. These kids may be poor, and hungry. Many of them have a parent or uncle or brother in jail. They are the least of these. They are hope-sick. I know that they feel like everyone in society is against them, because they come right out and articulate those feelings.
I am not saying that it is wrong for parents to send their kids to a high-achieving school, or a private school, or to home school. I am simply saying that if we, as a church and as the body of Christ, choose to educate our own children outside of public education, we need to be aware of the children left behind.
It will be much more difficult to reach these kids as adults, once they lived eighteen or nineteen years being ignored, once they have dropped out of school or have been locked up. We, as Christians who profess to care about such things, have an opportunity to be hope-givers, grace-showers, and advocates to those that are in desperate need of hope, grace, and advocacy while they are still young enough to dream and believe. I don't want to see the church turn and walk away from those kids. Not when there is so much that could be gained. Not when there is so much to lose.
When I was in school, we had forced integration. Schools were supposed to have a mix of income levels and racial groups, and kids were bused across town in order to provide adequate diversity. In my lifetime, I've seen a shift in the way schools are segregated. In Georgia, there is no more forced desegregation. Schools simply segregate themselves. There are "good" schools and there are "bad" schools. You can look up the school profiles online. "Bad" schools have low graduation rates, low test scores, and a high percentage of kids on reduced or free lunch. They tend to have a large, if not exclusive, minority population.
I live in a transitional area in the city of Atlanta, and I teach at the high school right across the street from my house. Because of its proximity to downtown Atlanta, and its small, historic, neighborhoods full of desirable bungalows, the area is filling up with middle and upper-middle class couples and families. The neighborhood surrounding my school is full of professional couples. Nobody sends their middle class children to the local schools. It is simply not done. That would be insane. Most people explain that the "quality of their children's education would suffer". Their kids go to private school, or they apply to the board and get permission to send their kids to a school in a Northern suburb. Although the neighborhoods are becoming more diverse, the schools in those neighborhoods are becoming less diverse. This creates a downward spiral. As middle class children leave schools, test scores plummet. This causes parents who are concerned about education to feel like they need to take their kids elsewhere. Those of us that have the resources to do better by our own children consider the "bad" schools to be someone else's responsibility. Students in failing schools lose support and resources, and they fall father and farther behind.
A school with over eighty percent of the students on free or reduced lunch is a school in trouble. Poverty makes education difficult. Parents that are part of the working poor do not have the time or the energy to be involved in their kid's daily education. Most of them are working two or three low-paying jobs and taking care of multiple children. The last time I checked, the median household income for my students was around 30,000 dollars a year (and this is for a family living in a large city, where the cost of living is very high), and the median family size was five (which typically means one parent and four dependents). Kids that grow up in poverty are stressed out. They worry about their mothers. They want to start working as early as possible to help make money. They go home and have to watch their younger siblings and cousins and nieces. They lack medical care. When a family is working 60+ hours a week in order to pay the rent and buy groceries, things like glasses for a kid that can't see the chalkboard are an unattainable luxury.
One of the reasons so many low-income students fail to complete high school is a lack of hope. They get trapped. They see their family members drop out, get locked up, get pregnant. They live in a neighborhood full of crime and they join a gang or carry a weapon out of fear. They see door after door slammed in the faces of the people around them. It looks to them like everyone struggles just to survive, and they don't really have hope that there can be other options. Children who are living in poverty have tunnel vision. They dream small dreams.
I was talking with a friend of mine about one of her neighbors who feels a real calling to reach out to the low-income kids in her community. She was frustrated by the fact they they had so many needs, and it seemed impossible to even begin to meet them. I told her that you should never underestimate how much power simply being present and making the kids feel seen and cared about can make. A little bit of hope can go a long way.
My church is located in my neighborhood. It serves a solidly middle-class population. Recently, one of the elders of the church told me that he would like to see me come to a board meeting to talk to the staff about what I think we, as a church, can do to more effectively serve and reach out. When I mentioned this to my mom, she commented that sadly, if an outreach was actually effective and a large number of low-income, minority families began to attend church activities, many middle-class families would be uncomfortable and would begin to leave the church. As much as it angers me, I know that there is truth to her statement.
We are afraid of poor people. Poverty is like a visible symptom of what is often considered a lack of morality. It's okay to build a house for Habitat on the weekend, or volunteer at a soup kitchen, but when it comes to actually living among them, we get nervous. Without a doubt, don't want our children exposed. I realize that those are strong statements, but I confess that I have been guilty of these exact thoughts and worries. I've thought things and made assumptions about people who struggle in poverty that I am ashamed to even put into words.
The one thing I have learned in the past two years is that the basic moral fiber of people does not differ whether you are in the projects or in the suburbs. People are people. People in poverty simply lack the external accessories that signal "goodness" or "safety" to us. Children in a "bad" school are not worse than children anywhere else. They simply have more unmet needs.
The middle-class, worldly response to the problems in education is to demand school choice and do everything possible to make sure that every dollar of their tax money goes directly to the clean, well-equipped schools that their children will attend. If a family can afford it, they seek a prestigious, secular, private education for their children. Sadly, the Christian response to the problems in education is not markedly different. Instead of reaching out, the church talks more and more about closing in when it comes to a response to education. This may help our biological children, and the children of our fellow church-attending parents, but where does it leave all the kids in our communities that spend 8+ hours a day in schools we have abandoned to what we believe is depravity and ineffectiveness? What is our responsibility to those children?
I have no illusions that there is a simple solution to this problem, but I do believe that awareness is a good place to begin a conversation. For better or for worse, public education is one place where we have an opportunity to make a positive impact on the children that are needy. These kids may be poor, and hungry. Many of them have a parent or uncle or brother in jail. They are the least of these. They are hope-sick. I know that they feel like everyone in society is against them, because they come right out and articulate those feelings.
I am not saying that it is wrong for parents to send their kids to a high-achieving school, or a private school, or to home school. I am simply saying that if we, as a church and as the body of Christ, choose to educate our own children outside of public education, we need to be aware of the children left behind.
It will be much more difficult to reach these kids as adults, once they lived eighteen or nineteen years being ignored, once they have dropped out of school or have been locked up. We, as Christians who profess to care about such things, have an opportunity to be hope-givers, grace-showers, and advocates to those that are in desperate need of hope, grace, and advocacy while they are still young enough to dream and believe. I don't want to see the church turn and walk away from those kids. Not when there is so much that could be gained. Not when there is so much to lose.
Labels: save as draft
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
the big bad wolf
Yesterday, a new family moved into the house next door to ours. My daughter was overjoyed because they have a six year old daughter, and she has been praying that a girl her age would come to live in the empty house. I stood on the front porch and talked to the mother about her family and the neighborhood. She told me that she had three children, and the oldest was fourteen. "He thinks he is so grown these days," she said. "It is difficult when they get that age." She glanced across the street with hesitation. "He is really excited about that high school." I could tell that she was anxious.
"Really?", I said. "I teach at that school." She smiled. "I know I'll be asking you how he is doing," she said. I nodded. "I'll keep an eye on him, and if he starts doing things he should not be doing, don't worry. I'll let you know."
The truth is that it is scary to send your kids to school. The first time I let my son climb up in one of those McDonalds play structures, I felt this wave of terror the moment I realized that in an instant, my child had disappeared into a maze of colored tubes and I had no idea where he was or if he was okay. I pictured him doing something stupid, and falling backwards - or getting stuck. I had visions of him crouched in the corner of some tube, crying, while big kids crawled over him unconcerned. I felt the same sense of uneasiness on his first day of school. All of a sudden, this child I had been with every day since birth was gone. When he came home, I checked his backpack for a note. I was expecting some sort of play-by-play to tell me what book they had read, how many times he had used the bathroom, how much snack and lunch he ate, what he played on the playground. To my disappointment, the teacher did not write daily notes like that. So, I did what mothers do. I joined the PTA. I volunteered in the school. I brought snacks to the classroom and I worked in the school library.
There is a great deal of talk among Christians about how evil and depraved public education is. It is said to be part of a conspiracy, a liberal agenda, a sort of complex and carefully designed system to slowly brainwash students and turn them into atheist humanists. Public education is the big bad wolf. It is out there, prowling, waiting to destroy us.
There is a huge Christian media backlash when a school does something like decide to call the Christmas party a "winter celebration". The controversy that occurred last year over the "We Are Family" video is a good example of the way Christian leadership approaches the public school system. In everything I read, there was an assumption that this video was being sent to schools and it was going to be shown to all students as a part of a tolerance awareness campaign. The truth is that there is no national network or campaign (other than No Child Left Behind testing) that local schools are compelled to adopt. Even if those videos had been extremely subversive and offensive to a Christian belief system, they would have been just another resource that gets mailed to teachers and thrown or filed away. Unless the local school system decided to adopt a curriculum that included the video and require that it be shown, it would be completely up to the teacher to decide whether or not they wanted to show it. Teachers have lots of material to cover. We get all sorts of free things from corporations and organizations. If it looks like a lesson plan, chances are, it is going to just get trashed. With all the pressure to teach academic objectives, singing cartoon characters are just not going to make the cut (unless the video came with free stickers - in which case the stickers would probably get used). Last year, the only free thing I used was a set of ink pens and journals from Turner South, and I only used those because they were free school supplies and my kids are always asking for paper and pens. Yet, all the coverage I read about the "We are Family" cartoon approached the debate as if this video was somehow going to actually be shown in public schools across the country. Just because something is made available to the public schools does not mean it will be adopted or implemented.
The truth about public education is that it may be the single most accessible government institution. There is very little federal, or even state control over a local school. The vast majority of the decisions that affect what I teach and how I teach it are made by the administration of my school as it responds to the leadership of the school board - a board which is comprised of locally elected officials. Schools and school boards have a series of state mandated tests, and a general set of state objectives that must be met. Everything else - from what holidays are observed on the calendar, to what is served in the lunchroom, to what materials are in the library. to dress codes - is decided locally. This is why it is deeply disturbing to hear entire Christian organizations or denominations debating whether or not to advocate that people of faith abandon the public education system. Without the presence of Christian families and Christian parent advocates, public education will lose the support and guidance that it needs.
I've read and heard arguments that it is simply unsafe and unwise to send innocent, defenseless children into a "battlefield" like a public school. The rationale is that we would not ask children to enter a dangerous mission field alone, so how can we advocate that they attend an institution as dangerous as a public school. Yet, we send families into missions all the time. Children should not be entering a school alone, they should be entering it with the support and involvement of their family and church. I would never suggest that it would be enough for parents to simply stick their child on a school bus in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon. What I would like to see is a commitment from local churches and families to make an investment and become involved in the leadership of public education. As Christians have left the schools, the PTAs are shrinking, and many schools are struggling to find volunteers. There is a huge difference that can be made, and local families and parents have great opportunities to influence their school.
Getting back to the image of public education as the big bad wolf, suppose that the story had a different ending. What if that wise little pig heard that there was a wolf in the neighborhood and decided that the best thing for him to do would be to move as far away as possible? The only houses left would be built of hay and sticks and would be easily blown down. There would be nobody to shelter, guide, or help the little pigs who lacked a solid foundation. They would have ended up as dinner, and the wolf would have been free to roam and do whatever he pleased. Luckily, their wise brother knew how to build a house strong enough to stand firm and large enough to protect them all. Under his leadership, they were not merely protected from the wolf, they were able to be defeat him all together.
Christian families and local churches have many opportunities to impact their local schools. Most PTA groups are struggling to find leadership. Political races for school board positions are often uncontested. Parental, business, and local involvement is both wanted and appreciated. As churches and denominations discuss education, I hope that any decision to abandon public education and give up the opportunities we could have to influence and support the children and families in our communities is taken very seriously and prayerfully.
"Really?", I said. "I teach at that school." She smiled. "I know I'll be asking you how he is doing," she said. I nodded. "I'll keep an eye on him, and if he starts doing things he should not be doing, don't worry. I'll let you know."
The truth is that it is scary to send your kids to school. The first time I let my son climb up in one of those McDonalds play structures, I felt this wave of terror the moment I realized that in an instant, my child had disappeared into a maze of colored tubes and I had no idea where he was or if he was okay. I pictured him doing something stupid, and falling backwards - or getting stuck. I had visions of him crouched in the corner of some tube, crying, while big kids crawled over him unconcerned. I felt the same sense of uneasiness on his first day of school. All of a sudden, this child I had been with every day since birth was gone. When he came home, I checked his backpack for a note. I was expecting some sort of play-by-play to tell me what book they had read, how many times he had used the bathroom, how much snack and lunch he ate, what he played on the playground. To my disappointment, the teacher did not write daily notes like that. So, I did what mothers do. I joined the PTA. I volunteered in the school. I brought snacks to the classroom and I worked in the school library.
There is a great deal of talk among Christians about how evil and depraved public education is. It is said to be part of a conspiracy, a liberal agenda, a sort of complex and carefully designed system to slowly brainwash students and turn them into atheist humanists. Public education is the big bad wolf. It is out there, prowling, waiting to destroy us.
There is a huge Christian media backlash when a school does something like decide to call the Christmas party a "winter celebration". The controversy that occurred last year over the "We Are Family" video is a good example of the way Christian leadership approaches the public school system. In everything I read, there was an assumption that this video was being sent to schools and it was going to be shown to all students as a part of a tolerance awareness campaign. The truth is that there is no national network or campaign (other than No Child Left Behind testing) that local schools are compelled to adopt. Even if those videos had been extremely subversive and offensive to a Christian belief system, they would have been just another resource that gets mailed to teachers and thrown or filed away. Unless the local school system decided to adopt a curriculum that included the video and require that it be shown, it would be completely up to the teacher to decide whether or not they wanted to show it. Teachers have lots of material to cover. We get all sorts of free things from corporations and organizations. If it looks like a lesson plan, chances are, it is going to just get trashed. With all the pressure to teach academic objectives, singing cartoon characters are just not going to make the cut (unless the video came with free stickers - in which case the stickers would probably get used). Last year, the only free thing I used was a set of ink pens and journals from Turner South, and I only used those because they were free school supplies and my kids are always asking for paper and pens. Yet, all the coverage I read about the "We are Family" cartoon approached the debate as if this video was somehow going to actually be shown in public schools across the country. Just because something is made available to the public schools does not mean it will be adopted or implemented.
The truth about public education is that it may be the single most accessible government institution. There is very little federal, or even state control over a local school. The vast majority of the decisions that affect what I teach and how I teach it are made by the administration of my school as it responds to the leadership of the school board - a board which is comprised of locally elected officials. Schools and school boards have a series of state mandated tests, and a general set of state objectives that must be met. Everything else - from what holidays are observed on the calendar, to what is served in the lunchroom, to what materials are in the library. to dress codes - is decided locally. This is why it is deeply disturbing to hear entire Christian organizations or denominations debating whether or not to advocate that people of faith abandon the public education system. Without the presence of Christian families and Christian parent advocates, public education will lose the support and guidance that it needs.
I've read and heard arguments that it is simply unsafe and unwise to send innocent, defenseless children into a "battlefield" like a public school. The rationale is that we would not ask children to enter a dangerous mission field alone, so how can we advocate that they attend an institution as dangerous as a public school. Yet, we send families into missions all the time. Children should not be entering a school alone, they should be entering it with the support and involvement of their family and church. I would never suggest that it would be enough for parents to simply stick their child on a school bus in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon. What I would like to see is a commitment from local churches and families to make an investment and become involved in the leadership of public education. As Christians have left the schools, the PTAs are shrinking, and many schools are struggling to find volunteers. There is a huge difference that can be made, and local families and parents have great opportunities to influence their school.
Getting back to the image of public education as the big bad wolf, suppose that the story had a different ending. What if that wise little pig heard that there was a wolf in the neighborhood and decided that the best thing for him to do would be to move as far away as possible? The only houses left would be built of hay and sticks and would be easily blown down. There would be nobody to shelter, guide, or help the little pigs who lacked a solid foundation. They would have ended up as dinner, and the wolf would have been free to roam and do whatever he pleased. Luckily, their wise brother knew how to build a house strong enough to stand firm and large enough to protect them all. Under his leadership, they were not merely protected from the wolf, they were able to be defeat him all together.
Christian families and local churches have many opportunities to impact their local schools. Most PTA groups are struggling to find leadership. Political races for school board positions are often uncontested. Parental, business, and local involvement is both wanted and appreciated. As churches and denominations discuss education, I hope that any decision to abandon public education and give up the opportunities we could have to influence and support the children and families in our communities is taken very seriously and prayerfully.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
becoming a real girl
I did it. I finally broke down and read a book by Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice). I'm suddenly in the mood for tea and have an odd desire to purchase stationary.
Monday, June 20, 2005
still have those old diaries from middle school?
Get Mortified.
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if you were not convinced that you wanted to see Howl's Moving Castle....
Hayao Miyazaki, on being asked whether he was worried about computer animation destroying traditional animation:
"Once in a while there are strange, rich people who like to invest in odd things. You're always going to have people in corners of garages [making cartoons] to please themselves. And I'm more interested in the people who hang out in corners of garages than I am in big business."
"Once in a while there are strange, rich people who like to invest in odd things. You're always going to have people in corners of garages [making cartoons] to please themselves. And I'm more interested in the people who hang out in corners of garages than I am in big business."
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p.s.
As I was doing the dishes after lunch, I started thinking about how Christians who decide to home school or attend a private school could still support at-risk public schools in their local area if they felt called to do so. A few ideas I had:
1. Older students could offer to tutor younger ones. Elementary schools always need reading buddies for the kids that are learning to read. There are many elementary schools that serve large populations of kids that are learning English as a second language. These kids could use an older "mentor" to help encourage them and practice reading/writing/speaking English.
2. For a scout or family project, you could offer to clean up, build, or repair playground equipment in a low-income school.
3. A family that has a special gift for gardening could offer to help a teacher design and plant a class garden.
4. When I taught in a private school, students had to purchase their own novels for class. Your school could have donation boxes at the end of the year for any novels that students did not want to keep. By doing this, you may be able to come up with a set of multiple copies of the same novel that a teacher could check out and teach with for years.
Those are just a few ideas of the top of my head.
1. Older students could offer to tutor younger ones. Elementary schools always need reading buddies for the kids that are learning to read. There are many elementary schools that serve large populations of kids that are learning English as a second language. These kids could use an older "mentor" to help encourage them and practice reading/writing/speaking English.
2. For a scout or family project, you could offer to clean up, build, or repair playground equipment in a low-income school.
3. A family that has a special gift for gardening could offer to help a teacher design and plant a class garden.
4. When I taught in a private school, students had to purchase their own novels for class. Your school could have donation boxes at the end of the year for any novels that students did not want to keep. By doing this, you may be able to come up with a set of multiple copies of the same novel that a teacher could check out and teach with for years.
Those are just a few ideas of the top of my head.
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failing schools
To put it simply, parents make the schools go round. There is no politician, or administrator, or teacher with as much power to quickly and efficiently change a local school policy than parents. Parents can change what is taught, how it is taught, and, to some extent, who teaches it. The highest performing schools are usually schools in areas with involved, educated parents. Sports teams are well-funded largely because of active parent-run athletic booster organizations. Parents help raise money to buy band uniforms, school trips, and playground equipment.
The power that parents have can be frustrating. Parents can stop a book from being read, or a movie from being shown. Parents can get an assignment altered, a grade curbed, or a teacher reprimanded. Parents can get their kid's punishment decreased and their schedule changed.
There is a great deal of talk about the "No Child Left Behind" Act. Public school reform debate often features talk of school choice and vouchers. My feelings about these issues are very strong and influenced by two years in a school that has a demographic which makes it vulnerable to the negative effects of this Act. What I can share is my personal narrative about what No Child Left Behind looks like to a disadvantaged school. You may have had an absolutely wonderful experience with it, but I am convinced that any positive results that the Act has come with a heavy price for the populations that are the least able to pay it.
The basic concept of this legislation is that a school must prove that it is making annual yearly progress (AYP). This progress is determined by a number of factors, the most talked-about one being standardized test scores. If a school fails to make AYP, parents are given the option to remove their child from the failing school and place them in a successful school within the system. The failing school then faces a series of reform procedures. As a result, a school that does not meet AYP is in danger of having the highest performing students (and the ones with the most concerned parents) leave the school. Guess what happens to test scores when that happens?
Schools are already far too segregated by economic class. Schools where most students are from low-income households have less parental involvement to begin with because the parents lack the time, education, and energy to motivate them to get involved in the school. Simply put, school choice results in a sort of invisible wall within public education. There is one side of the wall that features well-funded schools, with ample resources, high test scores, and middle-to-high income students. Then there is a side reserved for low-income students whose parents lack the resources and flexibility of transportation that would allow them to sent their child elsewhere.
I know that, when I first began thinking about sending my children to a public school, I wanted the freedom of choice to make sure they went to the "best" school. I never gave much thought to how a "best" school mentality affects the very real children who are attending the "worst" schools. These are the children who most need to attend schools that have strong parent advocates who will mediate and stand up for the education of their children. These are the children that desperately need to attend well-funded schools. These are the children that need school to be a place that has a computer lab, or a playground, or a basketball court - because they don't have access to those things outside of school. These are the children that most need the example of room mothers that bake cupcakes and assist with reading circles or fathers who take a day off of work to chaperone a field trip.
Within school systems, money is not funneled towards the "needs improvement" schools. For example, in my district, there is talk about opening a magnet school to service the students in the lower-income area schools. This magnet school would be for students with an A or B average. It does not take psychic abilities to predict what effect a magnet school like that would have on the test scores and AYP reports of the schools it drew its students from. And yet, the magnet school would be wonderful for public relations. It would provide a high performing school in a low-income, largely minority area. It would make the vocal and more highly educated parents happy, because their children would be receiving a more prep-school appearing education. It would be held up as an example of the wonderful opportunities provided by the educational flexibility of school choice. It would be a school I would feel comfortable sending my own children to. And yet, I know now that it would come at a cost.
Schools are funded based on enrollment. Every child whose parents decide to send their child elsewhere take money away from the school their child would have attended. That money would pay for teachers, and textbooks, and toilet paper. And yet, money is only a part of the equation. The biggest thing that schools lose when a concerned, educated parent who wants their child to have the "best" education decides to abandon their local public school is the power and hope and advocacy that only a concerned parent can bring.
I am deeply concerned about the growing trend to pull out of schools. Someone left a comment on the previous post that mentioned the admonition for Christians to be salt and light. Salt is needed for things that would fester and rot without it. Light is needed in places where it would be otherwise dark.
I don't believe that everyone has to send their children to a public school. Public schools are not the right choice for every child or every family. What I do hope to do in this and the next few posts is simply to put public education out there as a point for discussion. We often talk about hunger, and poverty, and justice, and peace, and the ways that we can advocate for changes. I've read very little discussion about faith and education that is not centered around the evils of public education and the "solution" of pulling out. While this may help our own biological children avoid the problems in schools, it comes with a heavy cost - and the people that are being forced to pay that price are children.
"First, while the Act is supposed to raise achievement across all schools, it creates incentives for states to lower academic standards. Second, while the Act is supposed to close the achievement gap, it creates incentives to increase segregation by class and race and to push low-performing students out of school entirely, which will make it even more difficult for disadvantaged students to catch up to their more affluent peers. Finally, while the Act is supposed to bring talented teachers to every classroom, it may deter some from teaching altogether and divert others away from the most challenging classrooms, where they are needed the most. In short, although the Act is supposed to promote excellence and equity, it may work against both."
- James Yan, NYU Law Review
The power that parents have can be frustrating. Parents can stop a book from being read, or a movie from being shown. Parents can get an assignment altered, a grade curbed, or a teacher reprimanded. Parents can get their kid's punishment decreased and their schedule changed.
There is a great deal of talk about the "No Child Left Behind" Act. Public school reform debate often features talk of school choice and vouchers. My feelings about these issues are very strong and influenced by two years in a school that has a demographic which makes it vulnerable to the negative effects of this Act. What I can share is my personal narrative about what No Child Left Behind looks like to a disadvantaged school. You may have had an absolutely wonderful experience with it, but I am convinced that any positive results that the Act has come with a heavy price for the populations that are the least able to pay it.
The basic concept of this legislation is that a school must prove that it is making annual yearly progress (AYP). This progress is determined by a number of factors, the most talked-about one being standardized test scores. If a school fails to make AYP, parents are given the option to remove their child from the failing school and place them in a successful school within the system. The failing school then faces a series of reform procedures. As a result, a school that does not meet AYP is in danger of having the highest performing students (and the ones with the most concerned parents) leave the school. Guess what happens to test scores when that happens?
Schools are already far too segregated by economic class. Schools where most students are from low-income households have less parental involvement to begin with because the parents lack the time, education, and energy to motivate them to get involved in the school. Simply put, school choice results in a sort of invisible wall within public education. There is one side of the wall that features well-funded schools, with ample resources, high test scores, and middle-to-high income students. Then there is a side reserved for low-income students whose parents lack the resources and flexibility of transportation that would allow them to sent their child elsewhere.
I know that, when I first began thinking about sending my children to a public school, I wanted the freedom of choice to make sure they went to the "best" school. I never gave much thought to how a "best" school mentality affects the very real children who are attending the "worst" schools. These are the children who most need to attend schools that have strong parent advocates who will mediate and stand up for the education of their children. These are the children that desperately need to attend well-funded schools. These are the children that need school to be a place that has a computer lab, or a playground, or a basketball court - because they don't have access to those things outside of school. These are the children that most need the example of room mothers that bake cupcakes and assist with reading circles or fathers who take a day off of work to chaperone a field trip.
Within school systems, money is not funneled towards the "needs improvement" schools. For example, in my district, there is talk about opening a magnet school to service the students in the lower-income area schools. This magnet school would be for students with an A or B average. It does not take psychic abilities to predict what effect a magnet school like that would have on the test scores and AYP reports of the schools it drew its students from. And yet, the magnet school would be wonderful for public relations. It would provide a high performing school in a low-income, largely minority area. It would make the vocal and more highly educated parents happy, because their children would be receiving a more prep-school appearing education. It would be held up as an example of the wonderful opportunities provided by the educational flexibility of school choice. It would be a school I would feel comfortable sending my own children to. And yet, I know now that it would come at a cost.
Schools are funded based on enrollment. Every child whose parents decide to send their child elsewhere take money away from the school their child would have attended. That money would pay for teachers, and textbooks, and toilet paper. And yet, money is only a part of the equation. The biggest thing that schools lose when a concerned, educated parent who wants their child to have the "best" education decides to abandon their local public school is the power and hope and advocacy that only a concerned parent can bring.
I am deeply concerned about the growing trend to pull out of schools. Someone left a comment on the previous post that mentioned the admonition for Christians to be salt and light. Salt is needed for things that would fester and rot without it. Light is needed in places where it would be otherwise dark.
I don't believe that everyone has to send their children to a public school. Public schools are not the right choice for every child or every family. What I do hope to do in this and the next few posts is simply to put public education out there as a point for discussion. We often talk about hunger, and poverty, and justice, and peace, and the ways that we can advocate for changes. I've read very little discussion about faith and education that is not centered around the evils of public education and the "solution" of pulling out. While this may help our own biological children avoid the problems in schools, it comes with a heavy cost - and the people that are being forced to pay that price are children.
"First, while the Act is supposed to raise achievement across all schools, it creates incentives for states to lower academic standards. Second, while the Act is supposed to close the achievement gap, it creates incentives to increase segregation by class and race and to push low-performing students out of school entirely, which will make it even more difficult for disadvantaged students to catch up to their more affluent peers. Finally, while the Act is supposed to bring talented teachers to every classroom, it may deter some from teaching altogether and divert others away from the most challenging classrooms, where they are needed the most. In short, although the Act is supposed to promote excellence and equity, it may work against both."
- James Yan, NYU Law Review
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Friday, June 17, 2005
no child left behind
In the past, I have refused to write about polarizing or political issues. I really think life and parenthood and faith are difficult enough without people (i.e. myself) proclaiming that "this is the way it ought to be done". When I was a new mother, I quickly figured out that all the middle school social dynamics that seemed to disappear for a time came back with newfound strength and ugliness in the playground politics of competitive mothering. I can remember going home, feeling almost ashamed, because my infant did not have any teeth yet and everybody else's child had at least two or three. This sort of detail should not have been important, but I kid you not, these things got discussed in detail. Moms gleefully reported about how much weight their children gained each month, and claimed that their breasts must produce "cream not milk", and I would look at my skinny little kids and feel bad.
Education is one of the parenting topics that caused me the most stress and anxiety. I wanted to do the right thing. In my case, all the outspoken "good mothers" were home schooling. I attended a MOPS group and Bible study, and the focus of all the meetings was to convince us that the only Christian method of education was home schooling. I was given books by Mary Pride, the Pearls, and some book called Choices as Christmas gifts. I read them all, but I still had doubts.
While we struggled and prayed over our decisions, I remember thinking (and even complaining to my husband) that, within the church in our area, there were not any alternatives to the Christian home schooling or Christian education models. "Good Christian parents" who cared about the souls of their children kept them out of the evil public school system. Case closed. There were some kids in our church that attended public schools, but it was generally understood that they were the children of more worldly parents who lacked spiritual insight and depth.
Somehow, in the end, we decided to place our children in the public education system. Last year, we moved them from the nice, high-test-scoring, sheltered suburban school system and into an inner-city, poverty-stricken, low-performing elementary school. In the next week, I'll be writing about the things that lead us to make such a radical decision, the details of the decision we made, and the results of our children's year in an inner-city school. I do so hesitatingly, because I don't think I have stumbled on some great answer or that what we did is what everyone ought to do. I only know that I have learned a whole lot about public education, and about my own prejudices and assumptions and how they differed from reality.
Education is one of the parenting topics that caused me the most stress and anxiety. I wanted to do the right thing. In my case, all the outspoken "good mothers" were home schooling. I attended a MOPS group and Bible study, and the focus of all the meetings was to convince us that the only Christian method of education was home schooling. I was given books by Mary Pride, the Pearls, and some book called Choices as Christmas gifts. I read them all, but I still had doubts.
While we struggled and prayed over our decisions, I remember thinking (and even complaining to my husband) that, within the church in our area, there were not any alternatives to the Christian home schooling or Christian education models. "Good Christian parents" who cared about the souls of their children kept them out of the evil public school system. Case closed. There were some kids in our church that attended public schools, but it was generally understood that they were the children of more worldly parents who lacked spiritual insight and depth.
Somehow, in the end, we decided to place our children in the public education system. Last year, we moved them from the nice, high-test-scoring, sheltered suburban school system and into an inner-city, poverty-stricken, low-performing elementary school. In the next week, I'll be writing about the things that lead us to make such a radical decision, the details of the decision we made, and the results of our children's year in an inner-city school. I do so hesitatingly, because I don't think I have stumbled on some great answer or that what we did is what everyone ought to do. I only know that I have learned a whole lot about public education, and about my own prejudices and assumptions and how they differed from reality.
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
my kind of meme
Amanda at Foreword has tagged me, and I am very happy to play along.
Number of Books I Own:
Ummm.....A whole lot.
(plus, two bookcases full of books that I keep at school)
Last Book(s) I Bought (for myself)
From Value Village thrift store on Sunday afternoon:
All the Names, by Jose Saramago
Maus II. by Art Spiegelman
Identity, by Milan Kundera
Last Book I Read
Name All the Animals by Allison Smith. I've found that the folks at Barnes and Noble's Discover New Writers series usually pick very solid titles, and they tend to be books I would not think to read otherwise. I turned to them to cure my post-Time Traveler's Wife malaise.
Five Books that Mean A Lot To Me
The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is the first "real" chapter book I read. You never quite let go of your first love.
The Catcher in the Rye , by J.D. Salinger. I amuse my students by telling them that this book was banned from my high school library. I read it anyway. I think that Holden will always be my favorite boy.
Franny and Zooey, by J.D. Salinger. Zooey Glass is the single character that most reminds me of myself. It's always been my secret nickname for my true self. Until passwords for things started requiring both letters and numbers, I always used "zooey".
A Tree Full of Angels, by Macrina Weiderkher. This saved my faith and, quite possibly, my life.
Complete Poems 1913-1962, E.E. Cummings. I narrated my teenage and young adult years with various poems from this book. Of all the books I own, this one has the most cracked spine and the most handwritten side notes.
"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
-Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye
Number of Books I Own:
Ummm.....A whole lot.
(plus, two bookcases full of books that I keep at school)
Last Book(s) I Bought (for myself)
From Value Village thrift store on Sunday afternoon:
All the Names, by Jose Saramago
Maus II. by Art Spiegelman
Identity, by Milan Kundera
Last Book I Read
Name All the Animals by Allison Smith. I've found that the folks at Barnes and Noble's Discover New Writers series usually pick very solid titles, and they tend to be books I would not think to read otherwise. I turned to them to cure my post-Time Traveler's Wife malaise.
Five Books that Mean A Lot To Me
The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is the first "real" chapter book I read. You never quite let go of your first love.
The Catcher in the Rye , by J.D. Salinger. I amuse my students by telling them that this book was banned from my high school library. I read it anyway. I think that Holden will always be my favorite boy.
Franny and Zooey, by J.D. Salinger. Zooey Glass is the single character that most reminds me of myself. It's always been my secret nickname for my true self. Until passwords for things started requiring both letters and numbers, I always used "zooey".
A Tree Full of Angels, by Macrina Weiderkher. This saved my faith and, quite possibly, my life.
Complete Poems 1913-1962, E.E. Cummings. I narrated my teenage and young adult years with various poems from this book. Of all the books I own, this one has the most cracked spine and the most handwritten side notes.
"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
-Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye
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Monday, June 13, 2005
Howl's Moving Castle
My first experience with a Miyazaki film was Princess Mononoke. I was in college, and it was one of those films that got brilliant reviews from the intellectual elitist sources I respected at the time. I watched it really expecting to absolutely love it. Instead, I thought it was creepy, confusing, and disturbingly violent.
I made a "No-Miyazaki" rule when the film Spirited Away was widely released and marketed to children alongside the Disney films. I don't know what finally made me decide to let the kids rent it last year, but I did and Lily absolutely loved it. In fact, my daughter loves all of the Miyazaki films that I have allowed her to see. I've watched them with her, and I can see their appeal. They all have very strong, young female protagonists and archetypal hero journeys.
Last week, Lily started asking to see the new movie with the flying castle. Since I never watch telivision, I assumed she was seeing a preview for Castle in the Sky, and I told her we could get the DVD. She insisted that it was a different movie and the next time the commercial came on, she ran to get me.
Yesterday, we went to go see Howl's Moving Castle. It is, in my opinion, the most visually stunning of Miyazaki's films. It was also, by far, the most romantic. Arden did not like it very well (he gave it a seventy on a scale of one to one hundred) because it did not have enough action. I will concede that the film is rather quiet and slow-paced. Most of the conflicts in the story are internal. The shy, timid young protagonist Sophie learns to be strong, brave, and happy after a witch transforms her into an old woman. The dashing and handsome (but self-absorbed) wizard Howl learns to be kind, love and live for others.
The story itself had strong overtones of the myth of Cupid and Psyche, which has always been my favorite myth. I loved the film, but I was not sure that Lily would "get it". Afterwards, she said she gave it a rating of "a milliondy two" and asked to go see it again. They were giving away movie posters in the theater, and when I looked in my review mirror, Lily was kissing the picture of Howl.
I believe that the film gets widely released this weekend. It is being marketed to children, but it is a very long (over two hours) and character-driven film. I think that girls old enough to watch and enjoy "Anne of Green Gables" and boys old enough to not find romantic love gross should enjoy it. And of course, for all grown-up fans of Cupid and Psyche, it might end up being one of your favorites.
I made a "No-Miyazaki" rule when the film Spirited Away was widely released and marketed to children alongside the Disney films. I don't know what finally made me decide to let the kids rent it last year, but I did and Lily absolutely loved it. In fact, my daughter loves all of the Miyazaki films that I have allowed her to see. I've watched them with her, and I can see their appeal. They all have very strong, young female protagonists and archetypal hero journeys.
Last week, Lily started asking to see the new movie with the flying castle. Since I never watch telivision, I assumed she was seeing a preview for Castle in the Sky, and I told her we could get the DVD. She insisted that it was a different movie and the next time the commercial came on, she ran to get me.
Yesterday, we went to go see Howl's Moving Castle. It is, in my opinion, the most visually stunning of Miyazaki's films. It was also, by far, the most romantic. Arden did not like it very well (he gave it a seventy on a scale of one to one hundred) because it did not have enough action. I will concede that the film is rather quiet and slow-paced. Most of the conflicts in the story are internal. The shy, timid young protagonist Sophie learns to be strong, brave, and happy after a witch transforms her into an old woman. The dashing and handsome (but self-absorbed) wizard Howl learns to be kind, love and live for others.
The story itself had strong overtones of the myth of Cupid and Psyche, which has always been my favorite myth. I loved the film, but I was not sure that Lily would "get it". Afterwards, she said she gave it a rating of "a milliondy two" and asked to go see it again. They were giving away movie posters in the theater, and when I looked in my review mirror, Lily was kissing the picture of Howl.
I believe that the film gets widely released this weekend. It is being marketed to children, but it is a very long (over two hours) and character-driven film. I think that girls old enough to watch and enjoy "Anne of Green Gables" and boys old enough to not find romantic love gross should enjoy it. And of course, for all grown-up fans of Cupid and Psyche, it might end up being one of your favorites.
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fearfully and wonderfully made
I started teaching 2-year old Sunday school again. One of the little girls in the class has been diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction. She is young enough that people still whisper their way around the word "autism".
I don't know this child very well; she is new to my class. I know she needs to get used to me if she is going to accept my class, and so I watch her gently as she chatters to herself. She only screams when we go outside, and only then because she does not want to be held or told where to go. As soon as I set her down with her bare feet in the damp grass, she quiets and restarts her quiet chatter. Her voice rises and falls as she talks, her language is like a complicated and nuanced foreign language that makes perfect sense to no one but her.
The climbing structure on the playground has a large, domed mirror on one side. I pick her up to show her, and she tenses in my arms and pulls away. Then, she sees the reflective circle. I feel her weight shift as her small body relaxes and she begins to talk excitedly to her reflection. She reaches out her hand and touches her mirror image, pulls her fingers away, and then reaches to touch her own hand again. I resist the urge to start explaining things to her.
She starts to slowly stick her tongue out, and then back in. She watches intently as her reflection does the same. Each time, she chatters with approval at the little girl in the mirror. It is a good trick.
I have an idea, and I move so that I am also visible in the mirror. My reflection meets the eyes of her reflection and slowly, inside the mirror, I stick out my tongue. She stops her monolouge, and turns for the first time to look at the real me. For one brief moment, she smiles.
Out of all the kids in my class, I decide I like her the best.
I don't know this child very well; she is new to my class. I know she needs to get used to me if she is going to accept my class, and so I watch her gently as she chatters to herself. She only screams when we go outside, and only then because she does not want to be held or told where to go. As soon as I set her down with her bare feet in the damp grass, she quiets and restarts her quiet chatter. Her voice rises and falls as she talks, her language is like a complicated and nuanced foreign language that makes perfect sense to no one but her.
The climbing structure on the playground has a large, domed mirror on one side. I pick her up to show her, and she tenses in my arms and pulls away. Then, she sees the reflective circle. I feel her weight shift as her small body relaxes and she begins to talk excitedly to her reflection. She reaches out her hand and touches her mirror image, pulls her fingers away, and then reaches to touch her own hand again. I resist the urge to start explaining things to her.
She starts to slowly stick her tongue out, and then back in. She watches intently as her reflection does the same. Each time, she chatters with approval at the little girl in the mirror. It is a good trick.
I have an idea, and I move so that I am also visible in the mirror. My reflection meets the eyes of her reflection and slowly, inside the mirror, I stick out my tongue. She stops her monolouge, and turns for the first time to look at the real me. For one brief moment, she smiles.
Out of all the kids in my class, I decide I like her the best.
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friendship
Last Wednesday, my friend Kelly came to visit. We had gotten together twice before, but each time it was only for an afternoon. It is such a blessing when you meet someone and you feel like you have known them your whole life. We grew up in the same town, but we did not meet during our childhoods. At one point, Kelly said, "Remember the dress up attic in the museum down town?". I nodded and it dawned on me that both of us probably tapped away on the same old typewriter and put the same Laura Ingalls bonnet on our heads. Kelly said that it would be neat if we found each other in the background of old photographs. I agree.
I think that's how you know a good friend when you find one. It feels like, somehow, they were there all along. You could look backwards and there they would be, not quite in focus yet, tightening a roller skate, or jumping off a swimming dock.
You think back on a day that wanted to disappear and you were riding the school bus, sitting alone, and you looked out the window at a stranger passing in a car, or standing on the side of the street, and you waved and they waved back. It made you feel better. It made the playground and the lunchroom bearable.
Sometimes, you make friends and it is like you finally get to put a name to one of the anonymous wavers that made you feel seen and safe. That's the kind of friend Kelly is.
Kelly feeding peanuts to a smiling pig.
It's not the Junior Museum, but Yellow River Ranch is pretty cool anyway.
I think that's how you know a good friend when you find one. It feels like, somehow, they were there all along. You could look backwards and there they would be, not quite in focus yet, tightening a roller skate, or jumping off a swimming dock.
You think back on a day that wanted to disappear and you were riding the school bus, sitting alone, and you looked out the window at a stranger passing in a car, or standing on the side of the street, and you waved and they waved back. It made you feel better. It made the playground and the lunchroom bearable.
Sometimes, you make friends and it is like you finally get to put a name to one of the anonymous wavers that made you feel seen and safe. That's the kind of friend Kelly is.
Kelly feeding peanuts to a smiling pig.
It's not the Junior Museum, but Yellow River Ranch is pretty cool anyway.
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wings and sparklers
Friday, June 10, 2005
red clay angel
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
come and play
It is only when I take my kids to the park that it dawns on me that they are completely urban children. I watch them play on a patch of green, with the Atlanta skyline towering around on all sides, and it dawns on me that this park is not like the lazy outdoors of my childhood. Even the names of the parks sound business-like and architectural:Piedmont , Centenial Olympic. This is the only time I truly long for the dirt roads and Silver Lakes of my own childhood in rural Florida. I consider packing them up and taking them to my aunt's cabin for a week. I'm not sure what it is I want them to discover, but I know that, whatever it is, it is hidden somewhere between homemade boat docks, and metal bench seats, and the anticipated bob of red and white plastic in the water. I want them to hang their hand over the side of a boat and let their fingers dip into the rushing water. I want them to fall asleep to the noise of frogs and cicadas. I want them to look up, and actually be able to see stars.
My kids run ahead of me, past the dog-walkers and strollers. I feel like I need to apologize somehow, and explain that this is not the real outdoors.
Earlier this week, I sat on a hot concrete step and watched them play in the fountains at Centennial Olympic Park. Two policemen on bicycles circled the fountains is slow, lazy circles. At one o-clock, everyone had to sit down and watch a synchronized water show. While I watched them playing in the downtown park, the thought occurred to me that, honestly, this was only one step above playing in a fire hydrant.
I was always restless as child. I always wanted to go someplace big, someplace that looked like Sesame Street. I wanted there to be people in my neighborhood - people I could meet when I walking down the street. I liked the idea. As a teenager, I put posters of New York City, London, and Moscow on my wall. There are times, even now, when I come up on the night skyline just over the crest of Freedom Parkway next to the Martin Luther King center, and the beauty of it shocks me. My husband photographs abandoned warehouses as a hobby, and their ugly grace looks like a whispered promise. I sit on my front porch and listen to the electric whoosh of the MARTA trains, and I smile in spite of myself. I love this city.
I wonder if this all this will be enough, or if my own kids will grow up as I did, longing for what is different.
My kids run ahead of me, past the dog-walkers and strollers. I feel like I need to apologize somehow, and explain that this is not the real outdoors.
Earlier this week, I sat on a hot concrete step and watched them play in the fountains at Centennial Olympic Park. Two policemen on bicycles circled the fountains is slow, lazy circles. At one o-clock, everyone had to sit down and watch a synchronized water show. While I watched them playing in the downtown park, the thought occurred to me that, honestly, this was only one step above playing in a fire hydrant.
I was always restless as child. I always wanted to go someplace big, someplace that looked like Sesame Street. I wanted there to be people in my neighborhood - people I could meet when I walking down the street. I liked the idea. As a teenager, I put posters of New York City, London, and Moscow on my wall. There are times, even now, when I come up on the night skyline just over the crest of Freedom Parkway next to the Martin Luther King center, and the beauty of it shocks me. My husband photographs abandoned warehouses as a hobby, and their ugly grace looks like a whispered promise. I sit on my front porch and listen to the electric whoosh of the MARTA trains, and I smile in spite of myself. I love this city.
I wonder if this all this will be enough, or if my own kids will grow up as I did, longing for what is different.
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Monday, June 06, 2005
learn from my mistake
If you happen to be a veterinarian's office, and the vet pulls our a chiropractic instrument and says they need to check your pet's "alignment" as part of the annual exam....
Run away.
Run away.
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mantra
Tonight, I sat on the porch in my Sky chair and read a book while an electrical storm rolled in. I was very still, so that the birds that sought shelter on the perches of my birdfeeders would not be afraid to perch as I sat. My daughter came out to join me, and she unzipped my sweatshirt and pushed her arms inside the sleeves next to mine. Her arms reached to the end of the sleeves. I find myself looking at her feet. noticing how big they are. I realize that I can rest my chin on the top of my son's crew-cut head.
I walk through my house deliberately. I wake up early, while the kids are asleep, and I tend to the cluttered and neglected spaces in the house. Yesterday, I took all the food out of the cabinets and refrigerator and threw old things out. I washed the shelves with warm water and lemon scented Joy detergent. I rubbed wood soap and oil into the hardwood floors. I am hopeless about brand names. I especially love cleaning supplies. Bounty. Joy. Pledge. Cheer. Cascade. I can never buy generic.
When I was a child, I would come home from Trick-or Treating and dump my candy out on the yellow shag carpeting in my bedroom. I'd divide the pile by types of candy: MilKy Ways and Snickers and other premium chocolates, candy corn, caramel and icing pinwheels, and other B-list candy that I loved, and then, the inevitable creepy orange and black wrapped nasty chewy things. I'd add and divide, until I know how many days the candy would last. I could not sleep until I knew how many days of Three Musketeers and Hershey's Special Dark mini bars lay ahead.
Now, I lay in bed and count and divide. June. July. One week in August. I tell my kids that this is Camp Mommy. I keep repeating internally, "There is nothing else I need to be doing right now." I want everything to last.
I walk through my house deliberately. I wake up early, while the kids are asleep, and I tend to the cluttered and neglected spaces in the house. Yesterday, I took all the food out of the cabinets and refrigerator and threw old things out. I washed the shelves with warm water and lemon scented Joy detergent. I rubbed wood soap and oil into the hardwood floors. I am hopeless about brand names. I especially love cleaning supplies. Bounty. Joy. Pledge. Cheer. Cascade. I can never buy generic.
When I was a child, I would come home from Trick-or Treating and dump my candy out on the yellow shag carpeting in my bedroom. I'd divide the pile by types of candy: MilKy Ways and Snickers and other premium chocolates, candy corn, caramel and icing pinwheels, and other B-list candy that I loved, and then, the inevitable creepy orange and black wrapped nasty chewy things. I'd add and divide, until I know how many days the candy would last. I could not sleep until I knew how many days of Three Musketeers and Hershey's Special Dark mini bars lay ahead.
Now, I lay in bed and count and divide. June. July. One week in August. I tell my kids that this is Camp Mommy. I keep repeating internally, "There is nothing else I need to be doing right now." I want everything to last.
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
home
We are home. I would say it is great to be back - but truthfully - I miss the Magic Kingdom. It was wonderful. I'll be back to more normal blogging Monday. In the meantime, some pictures:
Magic Kingdom:
I don't know if it is a new Disney policy. or if we just got a really, really nice tour guide, but she let the kids steer the boat on the jungle boat cruise. I was jealous.
If I could be anything in the world, I think I'd want to be a Disney Princess. I'm always amazed that they spend time talking to each and every little girl and making them feel special. When we left Arel's grotto, she said she'd see Lily when she was swimming.
At age six, I thought Lily would figure out the the characters are, well, people wearing costumes. She surprised me by insisting that they were all real. She even went so far as to speculate that Disney must have some sort of machine that they used to blow the cartoons up to people-size.
Every year, I take some pictures in the same places so that I can torture myself by making little slideshows that track the all to fast growing up of my children. Although they have outgrown Pooh, I made them pose in front of the ride anyway:
Arden demonstrated that he really is a fourth grader by creatively changing "Pooh" to "Poo".
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Right before we left, Chip's camera started getting some sort of camera flu. As a result, it took really artsy pictures that make it look like I'm married to an expert photographer. Truthfully though, it's a broken camera.
Tired kids on the way home:
The picture Lily made me to thank me for taking her to Disney. She is big, but she will be little for me.
My favorite part of the movie, The Goonies, is the part when the find the underground place where all the wishing pennies and dimes fell.
This year, my kids were looking forward to riding It's a Small World, because the ride has been closed for over a year for refurbishing. When we went to get on the boat, I looked down and saw that the water was still full of hundreds of thousands of coins. I gave my kids each three pennies and told them to make wishes.
When we got on the boat, I told them to look down. "My wishes that I made when I was a little girl are still there," I said.
For everyone out there who went to Disney as a kid, and saw the castle lit up with fireworks, and hugged characters that were real, and threw a lucky coin off the bridge to It's a Small World - I looked, and it is true. Your wishes are still there.
Magic Kingdom:
I don't know if it is a new Disney policy. or if we just got a really, really nice tour guide, but she let the kids steer the boat on the jungle boat cruise. I was jealous.
If I could be anything in the world, I think I'd want to be a Disney Princess. I'm always amazed that they spend time talking to each and every little girl and making them feel special. When we left Arel's grotto, she said she'd see Lily when she was swimming.
At age six, I thought Lily would figure out the the characters are, well, people wearing costumes. She surprised me by insisting that they were all real. She even went so far as to speculate that Disney must have some sort of machine that they used to blow the cartoons up to people-size.
Every year, I take some pictures in the same places so that I can torture myself by making little slideshows that track the all to fast growing up of my children. Although they have outgrown Pooh, I made them pose in front of the ride anyway:
Arden demonstrated that he really is a fourth grader by creatively changing "Pooh" to "Poo".
">Right before we left, Chip's camera started getting some sort of camera flu. As a result, it took really artsy pictures that make it look like I'm married to an expert photographer. Truthfully though, it's a broken camera.
Tired kids on the way home:
The picture Lily made me to thank me for taking her to Disney. She is big, but she will be little for me.
My favorite part of the movie, The Goonies, is the part when the find the underground place where all the wishing pennies and dimes fell.
This year, my kids were looking forward to riding It's a Small World, because the ride has been closed for over a year for refurbishing. When we went to get on the boat, I looked down and saw that the water was still full of hundreds of thousands of coins. I gave my kids each three pennies and told them to make wishes. When we got on the boat, I told them to look down. "My wishes that I made when I was a little girl are still there," I said.
For everyone out there who went to Disney as a kid, and saw the castle lit up with fireworks, and hugged characters that were real, and threw a lucky coin off the bridge to It's a Small World - I looked, and it is true. Your wishes are still there.
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